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Barren Illusion
"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal- that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality. Perhaps the facts most astounding and most real are never communicated by man to man. The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched." - Henry David Thoreau


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Chlamydia is not a flower
jueves, 12 de octubre, 2006
Safe Sex Options

These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe":

- Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

- Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

- Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."

- Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.

- Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

- When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.

- Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

- Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.

- You CAN get it from kissing -- tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.

- To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.

- If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehand to hope for the best.
22:31

Categories: ,

Recommended by 12 Members
bluetopaz little-b Dilated dave middaymoon hmdaswani kkama67 Praetorian peachy7646 brittybratty8907 x catatonicloki
18 Comments.


ohhh
BAD jokes, in a good way. lead based condoms, lmfao
» middaymoon on 2006-10-12 10:51:25

Thanks for the service announcement. I am sure many will benefit from it. I however have always practiced safe sex in that manner. So I’m fine.
» CONDESCENDme on 2006-10-13 01:28:44

Chlamydia brews great tea.
» Jazagoya on 2006-10-13 01:59:40

Whoops, recommended myself... that's lame.
» bluetopaz on 2006-10-15 10:05:04

Thank you, I'll have to keep those things in mind. :)
» little-b on 2006-10-18 12:19:49

Thats hilarious. Well worth the PPS I donated.
» Dilated on 2006-10-19 02:57:52

lmao, that made my night. Honestly.
» Helena on 2006-10-20 12:44:36

Thanks for the advice. I will invest in some lead-based condoms.
» dave on 2006-10-20 01:37:56

thanks! i play middle. its hard! but i like it.
» dis1girl on 2006-10-22 10:25:25

Unless you have AIDS already, then the heck with it, become like a vampire lurking for victims at night
» hmdaswani on 2006-10-24 07:38:01

In genius
Such intelligent writing!
» kkama67 on 2006-11-09 11:30:34

OMG
that 4 dicks in ass one is a lil creepy but otherwise LOL
» peachy7646 on 2006-11-13 03:28:55

LOL
i thought u were serious for a second.. but then the jokes, :) lol
» marymary on 2006-11-14 04:02:30

Eww gross.
» changbang on 2006-11-17 12:02:24

haha
thanks for the laugh, ill remember that in the future
» brittybratty8907 on 2006-11-18 08:43:06

haahah
funny but abit too much with 4 dicks in ass... lol
» jolenesiah on 2006-11-22 09:05:43

What necessary words... super, a brilliant idea
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» Rudy (110.138.207.36) on 2011-06-08 04:27:33

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» Malik (221.192.134.92) on 2011-07-10 02:01:54

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