Long time no visit... well I went to a Medieval Festival last Sunday in Fort Tryon Park (best park ever), which was an interesting experience. First, it was hot. I don't like to be hot. I'd rather trudge through snow. Second, I think it's due time we have a Renaissance Faire. Rebirth, art, and Lorenzo de Medici? Awe!some! And didn't they speak Middle English back then in Medieval times? Why were they still talking in Early Modern English? Inconsistencies, people!

Some foods: meat on a stick, fried dough, turkey drumsticks, chicken fingers, beer, mini-donuts, soft served ice cream, hamburgers, hot dogs, kettle corn, flavored popcorn. I would've like to see some capon and some more of the various meats they ate back then, like swan! Or pheasant!

There were a lot of little booths selling various trinkets, like stained glass, handmade jewelry, and ear wraps. The highlight was the Joust of Pleasure under the hot, murderous, life-giving sun. The two jousters were Morgan of England and Thomas of France. Both had extremely luxurious long hair (ENVIOUS). The two medieval emcees divided the crowd up; I was on the French side. The jousters played games involving jousts and swords while on their horses. They both tied and sucker punched the audience by announcing the contest would be decided by the Grand Joust at five in the afternoon. Unfortunately we were planning to leave after the pleasure joust, so I hope that French Thomas won. (The only time I wanted the French to win.) Because that English Morgan was a douchebag. (Okay, he wasn't really, but let's all pretend he was anyway.)

You know what else would've been good? Blacksmithing. And apprentices. Yeah, that would've been cool. And one of them could accidentally encase their hands in silver. Oh wait, wrong time period...

Ye privies (medieval Port-a-potty), medieval cops, and then we were on the medieval subway back down. (The only other hilarious adjective that I can think of that rivals "medieval" is "pirate.")
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